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February 2012
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  • Olivier Audience Award voting opens February 5, 2012
    Voting is now open for the 2012 BBC Radio 2 Olivier Audience Award which gives theatre fans the chance to decide their favourite long-running show. […]
  • The Play’s The Thing for Spiro at the Globe February 3, 2012
    Olivier Award-winning actress Samantha Spiro will star in Shakespeare’s Globe’s production of the Bard’s controversial comedy The Taming Of The Shrew this summer. […]
  • Ellis and Langford among 1000 Voices February 3, 2012
    A host of West End stars will be behind some of the many voices participating in this year’s The Night Of 1000 Voices at the Royal Albert Hall, which will take place in May. […]
  • Noises Off takes off February 3, 2012
    Michael Frayn’s Noises Off will transfer to the West End following its overwhelming success at the Old Vic theatre. […]
  • The Changeling February 3, 2012
    Thomas Middleton’s asylum sub-plot in The Changeling is a somewhat confusing addition to his dark revenge tragedy. To counteract this problem, director Joe Hill-Gibbins has chosen to transform his Young Vic production into a mental, anarchic experience... […]

Beautiful London

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"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."

-Samuel Johnson, 1777

  • Down with Dating: Feeling Gloomy Valentine's Special
    Love hurts at Feeling Gloomy's Valentine special. Speed hating and a night of miserable music. 12 Feb […]
  • Carl Cox - The Revolution
    Carl Cox returns to the capital this Easter for his only London club shows of 2012. Not to be missed! 5-6 Apr Book online: http://www2.seetickets.com/visitlondon/event.asp?ventown=london&artist=CARL+COX&filler1=visitlon&WT.mc_id=rss_002 […]
  • Oh My God! I Miss You Presents… Grind A Go Go
    Get into the 60s swing at Grind A Go Go, the monthly club night at Bethnal Green Working Men's Club. Dancing, music and more […]
  • Get Loaded at Electric Brixton
    Resident DJ Eddy Temple Morris brings you the best indie and electronica in London every Friday […]
  • Feeling Gloomy
    Misery loves company, so cry your eyes out (or just dance) with fellow miserablists at London's Feeling Gloomy. Saturdays […]

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Clocks

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Book a Taxi Online or phone +44 (0)7779 336 612

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him He asked, ‘What are all those clocks?’

St. Peter answered, ‘Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.’

‘Oh’, said the man. ‘Whose clock is that?’ ‘That’s Mother Teresa’s', replied St. Peter. ‘The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.’

‘Incredible’, said the man. ‘And whose clock is that one?’ St. Peter responded, ‘That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.’

‘Where’s Gordon Brown’s clock?’ asked the man.

‘Brown’s clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.’

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